Send In The Clowns

Any one who has gone through an emergency procedure knows the whirlwind it becomes.  Upon hearing the information I had long suspected I would hear, I was immediately rushed to Yale-New Haven Hospital where Dr. Joseph Piepmeier, head of Neuro-oncology, and his staff would be waiting.   Once I arrived, life was moving at an alarmingly fast pace.  There were questionnaires to fill out, identification bracelets to put on and doctors coming in and out of the examination room.

As Yale-New Haven is a teaching hospital, there were many graduate students that came into the room at the direction of the neurosurgeons and each asked the same questions over and over and over.  My favorite one of all was “What kind of pain are you in?  Any headaches?”  Seriously?!?  I first hoped that maybe this was all a bad dream and I was merely guest starring in an episode of Grey’s Anatomy.  Once that hopeful thought fled, I felt like replying, “no, I’m here because I like the hospital food.”  Once that barrage was over, in comes Dr. Piepmeier.  He was followed into the room by his chief resident, fellow neurosurgeons and the clinical care coordinator.  There was something about Dr. Piepmeier that calmed me – he had this glow to him, almost as if the moment I saw him I’d knew he would be able to help me.

I was then briefed on the situation – I had a tumor sitting in the ventricular system that displaced the septum pellucidum.  The procedure was described to me and I was told where the incision would be made.  Now, I’m a fairly bright kid.  I graduated UConn cum laude and had one year of law school under my belt so, I had heard my fair share of crazy latin terms.  But “ventricular system”, “cortical incision” and septum pellucidum?  He looked at me and said “any questions so far?”  I shook my head no, but if I were really on top of my game, I probably should have said “yes, do you have a medical dictionary?”  Between all the doctors in and out, the questions and medical jargon, I felt like I was at the circus – not quite Barnum & Bailey’s though – more like a creepy, frightening Cirque de Soleil.

I was then informed that emergency surgery was scheduled the next morning and it was my doctor’s hope that the entire tumor could be removed.  I signed the consent…as if I had any other option…and with that, a few questions were asked and the doctor was on his way and told me he’d see me in the morning.

Stunned and scared, I did not know what to do or what to say.  Shortly after, a nun from the hospital Chapel came into my room and asked whether she could pray with my family and I.  This is the moment that “it” all became very real to me and I knew that I needed God in this time of trouble.  I cannot even describe the thoughts that were going through my head at the time because I honestly do not even remember.  I was in such shock that this was happening to me.  The only question I remember asking the nun and my parents was “why me?” and nobody had the answer.

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